EMPIRE, AS BAD PARENT

We who live in the modern world are controlled by ways and means deeper and more nefarious than the blatant imperial military, political, religious, and economic systems that dominate our lives. Some of these methods are closely related to those mentioned: propaganda, the illusion of choice, and peer pressure for conformity.

Anyone who has ever tried to be different (or who accidentally was) realizes how swift and harsh the results are- anyone not conforming is hit with not only legal and economic sanctions and outright ridicule, but something deeper and more dehumanizing than that- they are abused and then abandoned.

We are a highly social, extremely kinesthetic primate species, and to be ostracized and rejected destroys us quickly and powerfully. We need touch- positive, connecting touch- and we need to be bonded with others of our species. These connections give us a sense of security, the Homo sapiens version of a flock of birds or a school of fish- safety in numbers. Well into our past, we learned that those who banded together lived longer, safer, more secure lives, and had more resources. Cooperation is mutually beneficial. Being outcast and alone, no matter how stoic-heroic it seems in a movie or novel - absolutely sucks, and robs us of our humanity. Outcast means we have no significance to others, and that they will not love us. Significance in the world provides a human with the reason for being, and is one of the core points that must be fulfilled if a human is to survive. Without significance, a human will kill itself. Love is one of the major ways we passively and positively feel significant.
When we have community, we balance between group and self, and in that process, we intimately bond with a few other individuals, This is where compassion comes in. Our connection to the group is mutually beneficial, almost symbiotic; but our connection to certain individuals is love and compassion. These personal bonds are more meaningful, they are by choice, not out of need. From them evolves everything limited Eurasian tongues call “love”, and what the NiTaino/Owasco people call Guiarq, Quibey, and Tekguiarq.
Guiarq is the first attraction we have to someone, the things that make us want to talk to the person, whether it be things in common, similar circumstances, etc. Quibey is the love for the person, wanting to be around them, and seek them out intentionally. The Tekguiarq is the expression of the love- the magic of affection, the touch- ranging from a hug hello and holding someone's paw in yours, to cuddling, and even including the erotic when done well. In balance and in celebration of the person, all three are present and in balance. Guiarq, Quibey, and Tekguiarq are certainly not inborn or evolved genetically, they come from experience, from love, and from trust. They are needed for a wonderful, whole life, but they are not needed for survival.
And that's what the empire knows, and uses. Guiarq, Quibey, and Tekguiarq are actually threats to empire and it's hegemony, as people who are truly and freely deeply and intimately bonded will have love and loyalty for each other, and will ignore empire and it's demands for control. So for the empire to gain and keep control, it must break these close bonds, so that no one is connected or bonded. In this state of disconnect and pain, these unbonded people are more likely to imprint on empire as a cheap proxy for the needed bonds. Empire relies on unbonded people being in an almost infantile mindframe (at least emotionally), and so it acts as a bad parent. This is why empires are always either matriarchal or patriarchal, and NEVER fratrifocal. Fratrifocal societies become decentralized, egalitarian, and self-actualized socialism, while a parental system keeps power centralized in an elite, omniscient, omnipotent group.
Empire uses several deprivation techniques to break an unbonded individual entirely, so that they will always be a subservient vassal. These deprivations can be listed simply as touch, emotion, spiritual, expression, and self. The empire also freely uses the “taking it” principle, and encourages hyper aggressive inter-personal dominance behaviors to provide a false sense of significance and importance.

Touch deprivation is the basic physical control, but it also cuts deep into the emotional and spiritual realms. As stated before, we are primates, a slightly less furry great ape. For ALL other primates, from tree shrews and aye-ayes up though bonobos, touch is of core importance. They all cuddle, hold paws, reach out and touch each other for reassurance or out of excitement, they sit and groom each other for significant amount of times (and it's not just picking lice and twigs out of back fur. New World monkeys and bonobos and gibbons show knowledge of kneading massage in their grooming as well), and they build sleeping “nests”, and sleep in piles. They all also have extremely open and shared eroticism. We have trouble even freely shaking hands hello, and have reached such a twisted victim mindframe, that we have to openly negotiate for a hug or someone to put their hand on someone's shoulder as support or consolation. (and the erotic now requires lawyers and disclaimers and waivers to be signed to “grant permission”). All the wonderful free and spontaneous physical expression that connects and bonds us is verboten, socially legislated out of existence, and it is absolutely no accident. I work at a medium sized public library, and we have pre-school “playgroups” come in for story time. We also have story times for babies in arms through 5 year olds offered.
 During these programs, (especially the “playschool” groups) I see the conditioning in effect from the adults. Any time two boys show ANY bonding- holding hands, arm over another's shoulders, sitting “too close” together, or Moloch forbid- they actually hug or hold hands, the overseers go ballistic, and begin ridicule and rampage to stop it now, and prevent it ever again in the future.
(The overseers are ALWAYS middle-aged females, BTW.) The girls are also kept from expressing any bonds, but nowhere near as aggressively controlled as the boys are. I once got reprimanded by one of the menopausal milch cows during a storytime for three and four year olds, as I wouldn't stop reading the picture-book to yell at two boys in the back who had their arms around each other. They had settled in, and were attentively listening to the story up to the point the control cows started lowing. With such brutal conditioning starting so early, it's no wonder we are so broken. Studies have repeatedly been done with baby primates that show that touch deprivation leads to severely psychotic behaviors continuing through life. One study offered baby rhesus monkeys two “parents”, one a wire form with a bottle of warm milk, and the other a carpeted one with arms that were on springs that could hold the baby monkey, but no milk. The infant monkeys ALWAYS chose to be hungry and be held. Likewise, the first thing a baby human does when you pick it up is reach to be held, even if it is crying. In the orphanages in Romania in the 1980's, the children who were not held by the staff would become severely autistic, and rock back and forth, crying inconsolably. Look at the plague of violence and cruelty in society we have today, and it is not a difficult thought to understand why we are like this.

We are so touch deprived, that in a world of 7.4 BILLION people, we all feel alone. We have whole lucrative careers based on providing basic touch interactions in an “approved” setting (massage therapists). We have monitored “cuddle parties” in major cities that cost up to $200 to attend, where a stranger decides how you and the person next to you can touch and interact, always worrying to “keep it decent”. The person next to you in these scenarios is a stranger, too. We have also reached a point where we are so hungry for ANY touch, that salesmen can increase their successful “closes” by touching the client at the right time.

Emotional deprivation is quite related to the touch as well, but does have some of it's own aspects. We are falsely told that there are “good” or “appropriate” emotions, and there are “proper” ways to express them. Again, any spontaneity or free expression is immediately killed and controlled. There are no differences in the values of emotions, and the “correct” expression is all in context. I remember being at a great-aunt's funeral, and getting the giggles because of the hypocrisy of some of the adult's behaviors during the wake. I was lambasted and even threatened with violence, because I wasn't playing along with the lugubrious theater piece they were putting on. There is at least one relative, over 30 years later, who still hates and resents me for my “disrespect” (I was 8 at the time). I, however, even writing this broke into a wide smile from the memory of the stupidity. Inappropriate or not, at least I have a positive memory of not only my great-aunt, but of her funeral as well. We also have “defensive driving” courses, mandatory from the government for new drivers. They teach “safe aggressive driving”. Moloch forbid we drop aggressive driving all together, and make licensing harder, so people realize what a responsibility a vehicle is. We continue the infantile fantasy of “I own the road.” Empire is a lot of infantile wish fulfillments.

Part 2

The spiritual deprivation is quite similar (truly, they all are very similar, that's why the empire controls them so well using the same techniques) to the emotional. Instead of an open, free self-discovery of the joys of the creation, perhaps with a little guidance or hard-earned wisdom thrown in for good measure, we are stifled, chained, and drowned in neurotic dogma and a list of sins and punishments that endlessly support the controlling imperial elite's hegemony. Did you ever notice how close most governments are with the major religions? It's no accident. Religions are the stage before the militia comes in to guarantee the empire continues unchallenged. Religion is from the Latin word relegeare, which is also where regulate comes from. No false advertising here, religion is about control. And all of the religious clergy who molest kids and torture people, well, that's expected too, and not just because they are all worshiping Moloch- you gotta break the spirits of the young followers somehow, to ensure the future will be obedient.

Reform minister Tom Dykstra once told me “God can only work on a broken spirit”... I immediately responded “so you break as many as possible, so you can remain in charge, right?” I was never asked to visit that church with my cousins who went there ever again.

The deprivation of expression and self I will discuss together, since they are really inseperable. This one is really simple- just be different in any way, and watch what happens. Be a different religion, skin color, or culture than the main accepted imperial ones, and watch what happens. Speak a different language or have a slight accent different from those around you and watch what happens. Have your hair styled differently (or colored differently), dress differently, or listen to something other than the top-40 pop music, and watch what happens. Express love, emotions, and touch differently than those around you, and watch what happens. Happen to stand up for your own or other's equal rights, and watch what happens. Anyone who has ever been strong enough to be independent, and not follow the herd of sheeple, anyone who has ever thought for themselves, who has ever fought for themselves- then you know what happens- you are bullied, attacked, ridiculed, threatened, and ostracized. You will have greatly suffered from the hyper-aggressive, inter-personal domination techniques that are so core to the empire's control paradigm. It is literally as simple as “if they won't join you, beat them down”. But why?

As stated earlier, humans have a deep-rooted need to feel significant, whether this is to be loved, seen, heard, accepted, or to influence others, or to be recognized, or whatever. The empire cuts off all the ways a human can feel connected and significant, but it can't kill the need for significance, so it channels it into greed, and a term former NFL star Don Sabo refers to as “Take It”. The part in quotes below are excerpts from Don Sabo's wonderful 1986 essay “Pigskin Patriarch and Pain”, used here in respect, but totally without permission...

“ ...but it (the opinion that pain is needed in sports, to make it real) is also a system of intermale dominance, in which a minority of men dominates the masses of men. (He is speaking of the NFL games). This intermale dominance hierarchy exploits the majority of those it beckons to climb it's heights. The accepted mythos of heroism and its morality of power-worship implant visions of ecstasy and masculine excellence in the minds of boys who ultimately will defend it's inequities and ridicule its victims. It is inside of this institutional framework that I have begun to explore the essence and scope of “the pain principle”

“Taking It”

“It is nothing more than a form of social hierarchy. Hierarchy breeds inequities, and inequities breed pain. To remain stable, the hierarchy must either justify the pain, or explain it away.... The principle is expressed in Judeo-Christian beliefs. The Judeo-Christian god inflicts or permits pain, yet “the Father” is still revered and loved. Likewise, a chief disciplinarian in the patriarchal family, the father has the right to inflict pain. The “pain principle” also echoes throughout traditional western sexual morality; it is better to experience the pain of not having sexual pleasure than it is to have sexual pleasure expressed openly.”
“Most men learn to heed these cultural messages and take their “cues for survival” from the system. The Willie Lomans of the economy pander to the profit and the American Dream. Soldiers, young and old, salute their neo-Hun generals. Right-wing Christians genuflect before the idols of righteousness, affluence, and conformity. And male athletes adopt the visons and values that coaches are offering: to take orders, to take pain, to “take out” opponents, to take the game seriously, to take women, and to take their place on the team. And, if they can't “take it”, then the rewards of athletic camaraderie, prestige, scholarship, pro contracts, and community recognition are not forthcoming.”


So why don't we begin to structure ourselves, one by one, two by two, into loving, nurturing, caring fratrifocal communities, away from empire, and regain our lost humanity?
It is really simple- begin freely being, begin touching, hugging, feeling, expressing. Speak your mind even if your voice shakes. Listen deeply when others peak, And be fully aware and responsible of the imperial programming in you, and purge it from yourself.
Don't let the inter-personal domination games run in your life, either others running them on you, or you running them on yourself or others. It will be hard at first, but find and surround yourself with those who truly love, support, and nourish you. Once a few pairs or trios get started, it will snowball. Empire is collapsing, and so many hunger for anything else but empire and it's pathologies. The idea will spread and grow inch by inch, and row by row, until the empire is gone, killed by love and truth. In case my dear reader is wondering if the vision shared here has ever been successfully done, I leave you with a quote about the Kaingang tribe of the Amazon, written by Dr, Jules Henry of Yale University in 1936, and taken from his book Jungle People:

“"When the children grow up to be young men and women, a strange dichotomy of behavior is noticeable, which is all the more striking because the Kaingang lay no emphasis on such differences. Kaingang young men love to sleep together. At night they call to each other, "Come and lie down here with me, with ME!" Then there is a shifting and squirming so that Nggugn or Waipo or Kanyahe can lie down where he is bidden. In camp one sees the young men caressing. Married and unmarried young men lie cheek by jowl, arms around one another, legs slung across bodies, for all the world like lovers in our own society. Sometimes they lie caressing that way in little knots of three or four.”

“"The men like to congregate together, and when the women are in camp they leave them and sit around in groups, weaving baskets, or just talking. They just visit. Like the indiscriminate playing of the children, these caressings, sleeping parties, and gossipings do not follow relationship lines. Whatever may be the specific obligations of cousins or brothers-in-law, they are completely lost sight of in these ephemeral, wholly casual masculine contacts.. The basis for a man's loyalty to man has roots in the many warm bodily contacts between them. The violent, annihilating conflicts among men in Kaingang society were all among those who had never shared the languid exchange of caresses on a hot afternoon under the green arched shelter of a house nor lain together night after night under a blanket against the cold. The very transient, unfixed nature of these contacts leaves no ground for jealousy. The relationships built on these hours of lying together with other males bear fruit in the softening of conflicts that are so characteristic of Kaingang society. Indeed, there is a patterned friendship between men that has woven this contact into it's very warp and woof, and that is the friendship of hunting companions. Men who have hunted together day after day, raided the Brazilians together, slept together beside the same fire, under the same blanket, wrapped in each other's arms, hold this relationship above their kinship with their brothers. The consequences for the general integration of Kaingang society are immeasurable."