Male Bonding: Male Attraction, Life or death?

by Monkey Brothers Playing on 24 Maart 2010 om 10:41 NM

I have wondered all my life why guys would instinctively attract to each other. Then one day guy named Stephen Mallory wrote a comment on our Monkey Brothers Revolution Group:"All of us instinctively knew this truth when we were boys, but it got squeezed out of us. Boys don't crave power over others (unless they are bullies who got victimized by the system early), boys just want to have fun together, play, and love one another. Remember your childhood, and start monkeying around!

Then something rang clear, about male nature.

We all share common experiences, and feelings, and share unique structures and energies that make us male, not just a penis an balls, although it is the biggest thing we have in common! We men are born male but, masculinity is not simply inborn, it is earned and cultivated. It must be nourished and taken care of throughout a guy’s life.

It makes me think of my very first guy-friendship I had as a boy.
There was this kid who stayed with his grandmother during the day when his parents went to work during the day, called Jurgens. We were both playing outside when we met. It was a cool summer’s day and he was eating ice cream; it wasn't long before he asked me if I don't want to have a taste of it. Needless to say we got off on a good foot, and became good friends. We were both 4 years old at the time. There were no inhibitions and within a few minutes, not even hours I was also eating ice-cream. We ended up being friends for 10 years thereafter and we would have been friends still if he didn't move to another town with his parents.


Factors that one has to acknowledge in this instance were us boys make friends is
• We make friends, based on our nature as males, we are attracted to one another because we see life and we are attracted to that life force.
• We invite guys to become our friends, because we forget that we are alone.
• We don't see any bad in anyone, especially guys from our own age and expect the best from them. If one expect the best one will get the best!
• We have no sexual connections to other guys, so we are not homophobic or homo loving
• We are instantly exited to have a new friend.
• We have to also remember that making a new friend is like acquiring something new, so in the beginning of the friendship we would be exactly like boys with new toys.
• We would go out and play with each other like with new toys!

The new toy analogy
A boy would explore ways about, how the toy can be played with, we would explore each other.
We would take special care of our new friend just as a boy, would clean, store, protect his new bike from the elements.
We want to see each other all the time, just like we would with a new toy.
This is the real life application of true mutual respect and sharing to another person. One have that inborn instinct to weave with the other person, in body mind and spirit, the feeling that you want to be closer and closer to the other guy to know everything about him. One even has dreams on what games you guys are going to play next! As boys we do things this way, because it feels right, it is natural, and we learn. As boys we learn about our bodies on each other!

We share naked time naturally, like me and Jurgens did when we were home alone and would see no problem being in a bath with each other to clean up. We would run around naked when there are no grownups around, and we would go over and play out of curiosity with your friends penis to see if it is working/looking the same than yours, thus sharing eroticism, before it were such a difficult word, out of our own naturally. We learned to love unconditionally each other in body/mind and spirit! In imperial terms, it is sometimes wrongly referred to as a “crush” on someone that you are in love with. Words like “bromance” might have some relation to this state of being. I then started to look at this phenomenon in a different perspective. We are all as men naturally attracted to "Life". This life is more than just surviving; it is living life force in the true kind of way! So we would always first go want to befriend those, guys who are living and enjoying life to the maximum, so they could also show us to do it the same way! For yourself, if you want to make close/nurturing/caring friends, you have to start with yourself and be like that, one that enjoy life to the maximum, making every moment count and doing away with stuff that tear you down, either in body mind or spirit, and go spontaneously out of your own, play with someone that exhibit this properties. Both your lives will be enriched!

In Ni Tiano Culture this bond between guys are describe in 3 words
GUIARQ is the emotional part of the Guatiao bond. It is the love and attractions that make two (or three) males choose to spend time with and weave with each other.
QUIBEY is the spiritual part of Guatiao that creates the energy that brings and keeps the two males together. It is beyond their control; it is the stuff their lives are guided by on a larger, external scale.
TEKGUAIRQ is the physical part of Guatiao. It is the affection, sensuality, and erotic weaving and sharing; it is how Guiarq and Quibey are externalized and expressed.


With this exploration is where things can turn for the worst!
Parents or other friends, that were influenced by the prudish programming of their parents would find out, and almost without any thought disapprove and turn against one or both of you! Behaviour like that would be labelled as gay and one can expect punishment for it. The impact that it leaves the boys in that situation with is severe! As boys we imprint on our dads. We want to be just like him, in the cases were we know our dads. So mom in most cases will catch the boys in an "inappropriate" state, deal out punishment and later tell dad about it. If he is an enlightened dad he would explain to mom (who doesn't know anything about being a boy) that it is normal and natural for boys to be like that. If not you can almost be sure that dad will give you a hiding. Dads play a critical role here in the future lives of their boys and I feel very sorry for those guys out there that were brought up without them, or in a house were mom had the last say!

This whole scenario plays out demonizing the two boy’s nature, so great disconnect and shame follow, and they will themselves become like that or the extreme opposite thus a great polarization in this new sexual realm and depression will definitely follow. So these boys were brought, by the imperial programming of their parents, to choose two roads only. You both become a, *GURRUMIAO, like dad, or an **EYERI, like mom, in their subconscious minds. Punishment would be the worst thing to do to boys in this case. Should he decide to go with his dads wishes, which were influenced by prude-ism by either dad or mom, he would become gurrumiao. If he see mother as the strong figure dominating dad, he would chose to go in revolt of their wishes and ironically enough imprint on mom and become an eyeri. Both this choices are far from the reality of being male and fostering masculinity. The close friendship will in secret, continue without supervision, fuelling a fire of curiosity, thus sexualize it in the long run, or become blunt and distant, or just end then and there. Given fact is, both boys will suffer irreparable psychological damage in this imperial programming of our society. Like I use to be, there are allot of guys, which have some serious inner conflict. During daytime they would meet up or see a guy, confuse life attraction with sexual attraction and then either do nothing and beat themselves up in the process thinking things like: “Why am I attracted to that guy?”, “ I want to be closer to him but then he might think I am gay or something perverse.” Matter of fact is this, he might feel the same way about you, and thus he might avoid you.

Majority of guys give up their masculinity at this stage, becoming gay or extremely homophobic, both programming to the very extremes, losing their innocence during this process! Like me a few years ago guys would be in imperial terms “confused” and they cannot decide between two given choices gay or straight. If you chose straight you may never be affectionate, or feel something, or stand in solidarity, needless to say erotic with another male. You are only there to the servitude of non males and can only have feelings for them! Should you choose to be Gay; you would have to have attributes of non males in most cases. Some even opt to go all the way and go for gender reassignment, not just ignoring their sexuality but also destroying it. Both choices are unnatural and sickening.

My advice is, just dive in, jump and start talking with him. You have to dive into the water to swim. Let him know you are just as him, and share same experiences most probably. Listen closely and talk about stuff he would like to talk about, be gentile with your words and say stuff like they are. Be a man! Don’t do anything a woman would do including how you talk; it is irritating if a man talk like a woman. Touch him, contrary to believe and bro code you may touch another guy and most probably they will touch back if they like it, just be careful if you get a cold reaction, don’t touch again, as guys we hate being touched if it start to annoy us, but need the push and need to be touched hard and direct, not soft and scarred like in the case non males would touch us. Touch is a important communication medium for all mammals including humans, us men! Look at his and see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQi8zFxrlPg


So how does a true natural men look like?

Pre 1950’s and before the rise of feminism, guys were required from a young age to swim and shower naked with each other in many health clubs and schools as there were no need for this, as strict sex segregation existed between men and women. There was literately a “no swimsuit policy”. In these cases guys were somehow compelled to share naked time with their brothers. Instructors would argue that it is policy because swimwear lint would clog up pool filters and or it was for health inspection. Neither proved to be the real answer, the answer were much deeper.


This extinguished the fire of curiosity, De-sexualized relationships between them, because they were allowed to settle their curiosity and also facing their fears and shame. Sexual deviancies almost didn’t exist especially paedophilia, rape, child abuse, for there were no curiosity factor feeding it, and you have to become part of the overall system. The men knew how much pain and confusion this, and perversity, shame and embarrassment and lack of brotherly love, brought into society, so the walls of shame have to come down between boys to become real men. This happened not long ago, and in living memory of men over the age of 60's knew the world as this better place, from their childhood. Guys really knew what it were to be brothers, not scarred of each other, knowing each other in body mind and spirit, having ultimate respect for each other after facing and conquering their fears.


So why were a guy forced to swim naked, and why is it healthy to be naked around other guys?
A boy or man, who enjoys naked time with other guys, is one that believes the Creator has created the body and that the body is good. They have come to see that the Creator does not forbid simple, non-sexual nudity. This non- sexual nudity is vital to our being as men, and brings about only good things.
Well, from what I could gather from stories of older guys and some concise posts on the topic and a dash of common sense, the reasons were.


THE MIND-- Swimming in the nude builds self-confidence, which helps the boys in their everyday activities. If you can swim, you could remember the day you swam for the first time on your own. My dad taught me how to swim. It would be someone that can swim that teaches you how to swim. First you have to conquer the fear of water by just splashing around, maybe with something that can float strapped to you. Then someone put their hand under your belly and you were learned how to kick and row with your arms the right way. Then you will swim with the support of an adults hand under your belly and just like that, they would remove their hand from under your belly and you would swim alone. Kids always make allot of noise at this stage and they are faced to leave the comfort zone of the persons hand and swim on their own. So being nude you also learn, with the help of other guy’s, also naked, to overcome your fears and reservations, of being nude in a all-male environment, thus leaving no place for perversions to grow on you, that make you see other guys as sex objects, but as brothers.
THE BODY-- Swimming in the nude is healthier for the body because bathing suits tend to accumulate bacteria. Because you are nude in the water it allows the pours of the body to breathe. The feeling of being free in the water makes one’s body release endorphins that are beneficial to your health.

SPIRIT-- When everyone is nude you all have the spirit of conformity. The bathing suit is an encumbrance. It doesn't allow the boys to develop to their full potential. This is true when taking swimming lessons and participating in other aquatic activities such as water volleyball and water polo, Also it makes sense that this was an "all-male" facility that it is not necessary to wear a bathing suit during aquatic activities. Nude swimming makes sense since everyone is of the same gender. Walls of shame then don't exist between guys. They were taught in the true sense of the word to take the plunge! Say for instance you stand on the edge of the water, naked ready to take the plunge, doubt will in most cases try you to chicken out (the water is to cold or what will the others think). You only overcome this fear if you take the plunge. Then inside the water you experience the feel of the water, in a true free way, without clothes restricting that feeling. This concept can be applied to all your choices in life to be successful, strong and fearless.
Body Acceptance Our Imperial culture has been brain washed by the Madison Avenue fashion experts who tell us in picture and words what a “perfect” body is like. How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought disparagingly at your body? Not enough muscle, undefined abs, too little breast, wide hips, or not enough hair, and so it goes. Sharing naked to time, puts you in touch with your body and you see that others are “just like you.” Plus, you realize that the “super models” in life are really not that pretty nude and the magazine “centrefolds” are definitely airbrushed. Bottom line: you realize it doesn’t matter what you look like.
Body Demystification. We are all curious. Being nude with other guys allows the body to be seen and thus demystified. You see what the clothes are covering. The discovery is made that bodies are similar and at the same time different.
People Acceptance Once people are naked equality takes over. You no longer judge or assess the value of a person by what they wear. We’ve always thought of ourselves as very non-judgmental type but we’ve discovered that we have been prejudiced by what people wear.
Age Acceptance In our Imperial culture we have pushed our senior citizens to the back of the shelf. We have devalued them and we have definitely devalued their bodies. To see someone in their “golden years” naked is at first a potential shock. It happened first to us when our fathers were ill. We were so unprepared to deal with their nudity. Now years later as we’ve been in naked time contexts, we’ve come to see (once again) how popular culture has conditioned us that the body of an aged person is ugly. How sad.
Creation Awareness When we go through life we seldom take “time to smell the roses.” Being in a social nude environment (especially for the first time) causes us to become in touch with the surroundings. We’ll never forget the first time we felt the air and sun on our entire body. The sensation of “being alive” was heightened and the awareness of the world around became enhanced. As we’ve talked with others, they too have stated such enhanced sense of being. Thus we weave with nature only if we are in the nude, not when wearing swim trunks that hide us from the elements.
Communication Expansion There is something about sitting in a social setting with other naked men. It might be around the pool, in the hot tub, or even under a shade tree. But regardless of the context, discussions happen – about all topics too! They happen far more frequently and with far more ease than in a clothed environment. You may or may not like to talk to others, but a common exclamation made by those who try social nudity is how friendly the others are. Conversation in this context makes us weave much more easily and comfortably by means of communication. It is OK to touch another guy in this situation, unlike what we are thought to believe as touch is a very important communication medium for men, thus a good way to weave with your guatiao's.

Pornography Prevention There isn't a day that goes by that we don’t hear of the effects of porn in the lives of people. Loss of jobs, obsession with the Internet, and unrealistic sexual expectations are caused by the porn industry. No matter what you think about porn, it has harmed people and their reputations. Many men (and a growing amount of women) in our Imperial culture “salivate” at any sign of skin. Why is that? We suggest that the mind has been conditioned by our culture to equate nakedness with sex. “Madison Avenue” does this deliberately because “sex sells.” We have discovered that social nudity and other forms of Good Nudity counteract this and renew the mind to the goodness of the body. In a nude setting all is seen. People who have battled porn learn that all bodies are good. Because our society doesn’t have or appreciate simple good nudity (i.e. non-sexual nudity) the only thing it has is pornography. As soon as people step into the context of the good nudity found in naked time, they discover the lie of the world regarding the body. The grip of lust is broken in the heart by the goodness of seeing the body in all ages, sizes, shapes and colours.
Deepening of Relationships A frequent result of shared naked time experience is that of a deepening relationship with your guatiao. Simply trying a new experience together often creates a breakthrough and growth in the relationship -- especially when one or the other has been reluctant. We've also noticed that the reluctant one then becomes the one who can't wait to repeat the experience!
There is not one verse in any holy book that says simple nudity or seeing simple nudity is wrong. Let us not call the most majestic aspect of the Creator's creation -- our bodies -- something evil or vile to be seen. Sharing naked time might not be for everybody, but accepting and honouring the image of the Creator is critical for all.

It is sickening that, today kids in school shower in shorts and is forced to wear appropriate swim wear, as all previous male only institutions are becoming extinct or prude stricken.


They are guided by some pseudo- code called“Brocode” to void them of any affection towards other males. In the true cultures of the world, pre imperial societies allot of recourses went into raising males the right way. For example In NiTaino culture, the boys are brought to a camp called a CONUCO, or "garden for growing men". The new boys are encouraged to pair-bond with each other (the beginning of the Guatiao bond), as well as with an older xi'paal (or xi'paal pair), who will watch over and guide them. The new boys are taught all aspects of life, including practical knowledge (like hammock weaving) that will greatly help the m later on. Erotic knowledge and sharing is done through the hands, the sacred Paj'e to Quix Nohin' Tah being the conduit experience. Each age group of males in conuco interacts directly within their own age group, and the age group just older and just younger than them. In this way, there is a cascade or spectrum of ages, so that there is a continuum of appropriate, equally matched weaving and behaviours, oldest to youngest. By the time an initiate is about to "graduate", he is not only complete; he has helped other xi'paals train and develop as males as well.

In a compete, cultural, whole world, males would be bonded in life long bonds to more than one male forming a chain. Women would then bond to the males in this chain. This we can see in nature in the model of organic molecules. A society like that are closely knit thus, they are extremely strong and caring. What happens to one happen to all in the chain. We can do it! We can start by identifying as real males again by reclaiming out rights as men.




These rights are
1. Right to foreskin.
2. Right to express emotions freely.
3. Right to wander and explore.
4. Right to be curious and play.
5. Right to be unshaven and musky.
6. Right to be naked.
7. Right to have an erection without shame.
8. Right to choose environments and relationships freely.
9. Right to spend quality time with other males without intoxication, competition, or non-males being involved.
10. Right to have close, loving, and caring relationships with other males without interference.
11. Right to a stable, non-imperial, all-male, secure area to play in.
12. Right to have a strong, positive role model/mentor when young, right to be a boy's role model/mentor when older.
13. Right to be in his child's life beyond discipline and economic support.
14. Right to not have his masculinity questioned or defined by an outside source, especially by a non-male






In Conclusion

So to conclude I have come to the realisation. “As men we are attracted to life and all things that celebrate life force, naturally. There for if we see life and the resemblance of your own life in someone; we are attracted to that life force in other guys.” Based on this statement, that is how we are choosing relationships and how to spent time with other guys, in nature, how God/deities guide us through life. This also explains how we as guys, have an urge to procreate or raise another boy to become a man. All choices in life we make are based on life or death to ourselves, the core statement in all the holy books ever written. We can do this with small steps reclaiming every right one day at a time. Political statements of this are to grow a beard, even if you keep it short, not shaven. Go with your friends to the closest public swimming pool and swim in the nude to claim it for males only. Support male only institutions and encourage boys and men to join them. Make close bonded friends with other males and nurture such a relationship by spending at least 90% of the time, sober with each other without the interference of non-males, and spent it in naked time.