Hey Hey We're The Monkeys

Recently, a group of want-to-be Beach Boy xi'paals called SoCal G0ys (not too amazingly, they are from Southern California, USA) have found and have been discussing MBP. Their statement on MBP is as follows: “Tribal masculinity = low IQ”. We were also called “ a bunch of watered-down ideas we have heard before, recycled”. They are also quite pissed that we didn't mention their (or any other G0ys sites), which immediately disqualifies us from their next volleyball tournament. While making claims that they read (or at least cursorily scanned) the main site, I find their comment revealing. Perhaps these basking sea-lion twinkies are experienced in and tired of the whole “paleo-” marketing ploy, which indeed claims to be tribal, and yet offers a recycled Atkins regimen. (Despite deep claims, there is little or no anthropological or archaeological backing for the “paleo-” ideas or claims. Nor is the malnutrition and “fitness” particularly masculine. I do think “parkour” is interesting, because it is a modified “Jackass” type activity.) “Paleo” does express itself as conquest ideals manifested from a low-IQ. If they had read more of our site, we are certainly not “paleo-”. In fact, if one truly reads the site, (or even the blog), they will notice we are not a lot like anything else out there.
We have encountered this Borg ship called G0ys before, and each time, the interactions have been awkward at best. Even thought here are many groups worldwide, their appears to be a controlling mother ship at the core of the movement. We have tried several times to contact the reigning G0ys queen, but to no avail. Side groups, particularly in Australia and the northeastern USA/EEUU have been more productive. In fact, some of our Bronkeys were and are affiliated with G0ys groups. The core of G0ys seems to be rooted deeply in desert monotheism mythos, and G0ys seems to struggle with guys liking guys. Strange-to-my-ears slogans and terms like “SGA” and “Butt Phuck Mafia” sound more like geeky LARP terms than masculinist sociological vocabulary. To my eyes and ears, G0ys seems to be an online forum for fantasies and hookups, all tied together with an “it's OK to be Takei” message attached. Actually, that is insulting to the amazing George Takei. G0ys seem to be gays who think by changing one letter, and calling themselves “strangers” in Hebrew, that sucking dick and having a DSW premium customer account will now somehow be more masculine. Just don't let anything slip into your ass again.
We have also encountered the now-defunct Str8Bro, the “I like guys, but I'm not homoerotic- see I just got a girl drunk and fucked her hard-” online resource. Str8Bro LOVED “butt phucking”, but just couldn't cum to terms with their SGA. Poster boys of the “Instant Queer, Just Add Beer” campaign,


Now, it should seem counter-productive that the masculinist groups should not be friendly, or at least cordial. But I truly think this impossible, due to the content, agendas, and target audiences of each project. What we do have in common is an encouragement of healthy, balanced, male-male eroticism, and deeper relationships between males. Everything else beyond that is as different as night and day.


MBP offers a holistic, historically aware perspective of masculinism. MBP is deeply rooted in the culture and heritage of the NiTaino peoples, giving it experience and knowledge not possible in a system based in a modern marketing demographic.
For those looking for validation of their workout routine or choices of fashion, where to shop, etc.- you are welcome here, but you'd be happier in G0ys land. Same holds true for those looking for validation for liking guys while still entirely entangled with the insanity of monotheism. MBP challenges Bronkeys (myself included) to push their envelope, and go into ideas and paradigms not familiar or comfortable to themselves. We are always searching, exploring, sharing, discovering, and playing. MBP is a dynamic growth edge, it is alive and vital. As shown by this blog, new events or even inquiries or questions trigger responses and corrected steering. The goal of MBP is to not pander to any one group, demographic, or ideal, but to represent an autonomous, free masculinty in whatever form it takes. This has proven to be quite difficult at times, and we are always learning.
Comparing that to what I see on the G0ys sites, the G0ys seem to be an online version of the US magazines Maxim or Men's Fitness, albeit much more erotic. I almost expect to see ads like Str8Bro used to run, for alcohol, workout equipment, nutritional supplements, lingerie, or sex toys. I also only see discussion of the erotic, and never anything on other aspects of masculinity. The stories submitted, while I am sure many are sincere sharing, read like homoerotic Penthouse letters to the editor. There is also always the underlying struggle of balancing monotheistic faith and the “SGA”. The G0ys are also massively obsessed with the inhumane gay-straight paradigm, which will be the subject of the next essay here. They use their “we're not gay” stance as their defining aspect. Their name G0ys is even an attempted pun on the word gays (which backfires, as “goys” means “subhuman” or “strangers” in Hebrew and Aramaic). By limiting themselves to this definition, they are limiting who they are, and what they can become. Learning and including historical perspectives and cultural ideals would help to strengthen their movement, but perhaps they are too “low-IQ” to understand those complex concepts. They might have to use a dictionary.
At best, they G0ys is a temporary staging area for those who just realized they like guys, which I guess provides some service. The core problem is once you realize you have “SGA”, then what? You are only told it is OK, and told to stay away from “butt phucking”. Some of the groups also offer a form of dating or hookup meet'n'greet service. That's it. Other than those few steps, G0ys is a dead end, a stagnant, anoxic stew pond. No historical perspective, no cultural rooting, no examples from other times and places. And they call MBP “paleo, primitive, and low-IQ”.


None of this would have warranted a response, except for several bizzare email threats that have come through, playing on the Monkee Davy Jones' sudden death last week. Apparently, the sender is warning that MBP will “die”, with references to “Davy Jones' locker” and a reedit of Micky Dolenz from his recent Good Morning America TV interview. These primitive, paleo, low IQ attempts at bullying and threats have all originated at one of two addresses from a certain G0ys group. Beyond having reported the threats to the proper imperial authorities, I challenge our Beach Blanket Bingo princesses to not be such cunts, and to “man up, brah”. Or should that be “man up in a bra”?


Perhaps they should have listened to the Monkees Theme Song (here adapted slightly, without apology)


Hey, hey, We're the Bronkeys,
and we're just Monkeying around
We're too busy Playing
To want to put anybody down


We're just trying to be friendly
come and watch us love and play
we're the men's revolution
and we've got something to say


Hey, hey We're the Bronkeys


- Joaquin 2 Cacimarex, Sewaornock, Manahatouac