Hostility Towards Natural Guatiao bonding (male-male desire)

Submitted Via: Reclaiming Natural Manhood please check out their blogs. I just thought I'd share it with you as it is a heartfelt piece of writing, cutting deep.


"homo!"
"Hold my dick!"
As boys grow up, they hear such adverse comments about male-male sexual interest --- often as part of peer pressure --- that most of them develop deep hatred against their own feelings. They fight with it, suppress it, kill it, divert it disown it and hide it. Often, overcoming their sexual need for another man becomes a major obsession. Since these feelings are most intense during adolescence and youth, the struggle is the most intense during this time. Boys learn to wear a number of masks of 'power' (e.g. they may incessantly talk about girls or have girlfriends) to hide their struggle. While they burn inside, they appear cool, calm and controlled outside.
During this struggle, many boys also experience superficial sex with other boys/men. Such bonds are deliberately kept superficial, even if there is a strong emotional attachment. It is easy to suppress emotional needs, even if it has long-term harmful effects. But sexual desire can momentarily be overwhelming and boys can easily give in. The sense of shame afterwards is enough to make most boys to ----- what scientists call ----- "come out of the phase" eventually. In reality, eventually they build an inner mechanism to rein in their sexual need for men. They deaden the need, often cruelly. Most boys have 'achieved' this (and they feel proud and relieved) by the time they are 19 or 20. But when they kill this need, they also kill an important part of themselves, their power to bond, their power to love, (essentially their power to form normal natural Guatiao bonds) ----- and also an important source of their natural masculinity.

This extreme (but acquired) hatred for male-male sexual need is also externalised. It comes out in outward hostility towards male-male sex, and in jokes that boys crack about it. This also serves to keep peer pressure on one another. There are clichés that boys use to denigrate these feelings (e.g. I have the same 'thing', i.e. penis, as you, so why should there be any sexual attraction?). These clichés are handed down from generation to generation. The terms of abuse that boys use also have abundant references to sexual activity between men, especially penetrative anal sex.
There is an interesting observation that men who unusually or violently put down sex between men, often harbour strong unresolved feelings for men themselves. Therefore, intense inner struggle with one's sexual feelings make men behave violently or negatively to such bonds. (Because of this deep hatred, some boys victimise the rare boy who openly seeks sex with boys ----- who in most cases is a feminine boy ----- at the same time (ab)using him to fulfil their own suppressed sexual desires. They may have sex with the boy and then circulate the word about him being a 'homo', which subjects the boy to group humiliation, ridicule and abuse.
The diversion process
Extreme measures and mechanisms are put in place ----- both at the individual and the social level ----- to block, suppress or kill men's sexual need for men, and to divert this need towards women. These mechanisms include social restrictions, barriers, mispropaganda, rewards and punishments, apart from manipulation of social masculinity.
These measures are put in place before the individual experiences positive male intimacy or has the chance to develop his sexual need for men in a healthy manner. This means that adolescence is an extremely crucial stage for building this mechanism. If society fails to put this in place during adolescence, it has little chance in diverting/ restricting this invaluable male power.
Effective measures have been in place to ensure that the evidences of this 'diversion' are well-hidden. No discussion of this issue is permitted in society. Added to the fact that this has been in place for a long time, it is hardly surprising that male sexual attention 'naturally' appears to be solely towards women.
By the end of this diversion process ----- and after innumerable harmful side-effects to the individual ----- men come out with a diverted, bruised or mutilated sexual need that makes them incapable of forming intimate bonds with men --- although in most cases this need survives in suppressed forms.
Many feminine males do not go through this diversion process ----- because they don't consider themselves 'men'. They find solace in separate social identities such as 'Hijra' or 'homosexual' which accommodate and recognize their femininity.
There will always be some masculine boys who experience positive male intimacy before their same sex need is mutilated. The 'diversion' process will fail to have much effect on such boys. They may go on to develop a strong sexual/ emotional need for men. But life will be difficult for them --- more so if they don't have a sexual need for women. Their well-developed sexual need will find no space in society. They will suffer consequently. But unlike feminine males who become homosexuals, they will suffer in isolation and silence. Most of them will get married. No one will know of their plight. It will go unacknowledged. They will have to undertake enormous social risks to fulfil even superficial sexual needs. There is no space for them to fulfil their emotional needs. In frustration, they may either lead a totally non-sexual life or become promiscuous, especially as they grow older, and chances of finding an emotional partner diminishes.
As they grow older, their desperation may grow, and they may start taking greater social/individual risks to find sex, may use unhealthy ways, and a few may turn anti-social to fulfil their sexual needs. In a heterosexual society, they will face another enormous social risk of being labelled a 'homosexual'and thrown into the homosexual space.
In the case of the rest of the boys, what remains of their sexual need for men after the diversion process, is a highly negative/deformed sexuality. This may come out in suppressed, superficial and unattached sex with other boys/men, or worse, in situations where men are in a position of physical power over other men due to social circumstances ----- in ragging, prison abuses, etc.